It’s oh so still. I’m all alone and so peaceful until…… (Apologies to Bjork!)
Yes it’s the first day of the school year and many parents all over Ireland are heaving huge sighs of relief, we did it, we survived the summer and now normal service can be resumed. A lot of parents I know really miss their children in term time and find days like today a bit hard. I freely admit that while I adore and cherish my beautiful daughter I find the summer holidays in particular hard at times and I love to see her going back to school. This year the weather really wasn’t great and there’s no pleasure in taking a wheelchair out in the rain. We didn’t have a break away as we are (or more correctly my husband is) doing a lot of work on the house, so it felt like a looooong time. Or at least it did to me. What I found the hardest was the lack of headspace. My daughter is not a particularly demanding child, or even hard to amuse and deal with, its just that her level of disability means she needs me a lot. That’s fine and I am well used to it but its still a bit of a shock to the system to not have any free time really. As she is my only child, once she is at school my time is largely my own. (housework, gardening, cooking, community work, historical research to keep my brain going, crafting….) So even though I knew that wouldn’t be the case over the summer it still hit me quite hard and I am afraid to say I was a bit short-tempered at times as a result.
Then it occurred to me as I was driving home from taking her to school (I like to take her in on the first day) that she probably (hopefully) hadn’t noticed any of my stressy frustratedness at all. So maybe I need to plan better for the summer break? Clear the decks of various projects over the months leading up to it and say to myself, ok this is downtime and even though I might not get much headspace – to blog for example! – it might not matter so much. Hmmmm. Something to ponder while I enjoy my third cuppa in peace – bliss!